


Take A Deep Breath, Maybe Felt Isn't All That Bad

by NicotinicSugarHigh



Category: Gintama
Genre: Christmas, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-10-03 13:08:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17284646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NicotinicSugarHigh/pseuds/NicotinicSugarHigh
Summary: A little angsty.Sometimes it takes more courage to forgive yourself than to fight in a war.A kiss amongst the wreckage.Sounds serious...isn't.





	Take A Deep Breath, Maybe Felt Isn't All That Bad

Gintoki braced himself in his seat as something collided into him. He opened his eyes surprised to find a mop of black hair on him. Maybe a mop wasn’t the perfect description for this head of hair, but Gintoki couldn’t think of a better comparison right now. Sorry, he'd try again later. He reached up to touch the silky strands when…Surprise! This mop of silky strands had a human attached to it. Who would have known?!

Gintoki would know those V-shaped bangs anywhere.

The owner of those V-shaped bangs looked up at him. And crap, why did he look so angry?

Oh wait.

It must have something to do with Gintoki’s hand in his hair. Oops.

And the other one on his ass.

Oops.

Not to mention Hijikata was always angry with him.

“Get your hands off of me before I arrest you for assaulting an officer.” Hijikata seethed.

“Who’s assaulting who?!” Gintoki managed. “You slammed into me! Gin-chan was just minding his own business!”

Hijikata quickly pushed himself off of Gintoki, not realizing he had fallen into the other’s lap in quite a compromising position.

“Well, do better.” Hijikata said. “At minding your own business.”

“No, you! You do better!” Gintoki yelled. “AHH—” He clutched dramatically at his chest. “My ribs are broken! I want compensation!”

Hijikata watched as Gintoki collapsed onto the floor, pretending to spasm. Was that supposed to be a seizure?

“This is all your fault, Vice-Commander of the Shinsengu—” Hijikata shushed him, shoving a hand to his face.

“Shut up,” Hijikata whispered. “Thought that your last two brain cells could piece together that I’m undercover!”

Gintoki paused noticeably, taking in the outfit the other was wearing for the first time today. Then he burst out laughing. He was undercover all right.

Hijikata swore he could have strangled him but made do with suffocating him with his hand. If Gintoki died, it would have been a necessary casualty. For work of course.

“Mmph—” Gintoki struggled. “I’ll actually die y’know.”

“Good.” Hijikata said, but took his hand off anyway.

Gintoki had a weird look on his face, but it left as quickly as it came.

Then he started giggling. He mumbled an apology but Hijikata thought it was anything but genuine. Hijikata sighed. Of course the person to catch him dressed as he was would be Gintoki. The worst person possible. He’d never live this down.

There had been whispers in the wind about Joui related activities happening at the local shopping center. A potential bomb threat. It was a baseless rumor but the Shinsengumi couldn’t take any risks. They couldn’t leave another stone unturned.

Hijikata and a few others were given the task of getting info about potential Joui related activities, as well as search for explosives. But because it was Christmas, and capitalism ruled everything, it was ordered that the Shinsengumi do their investigation incognito, lest they disturb all the happy families and their large and excessive putting-them-into-debt purchases.

Which led to his…current state of dress.

Gintoki eyed the vice commander up and down, really really trying to close his mouth and control his laughter. Really! He was trying! But this was next level hilarious. He’d never let Hijikata live this down. If only he had a camera.

But oh wait…he was too poor to afford one.

Which was the reason he was doing this shitty job in the first place. Gintoki scratched at his beard. Well, not his beard, but his costume’s beard. Gintoki doesn't have a beard!

He adjusted the red hat of his Santa costume.

At least he wasn’t dressed as an elf.

He chuckled again and felt Hijikata glaring daggers at him. Oh boy.

Honestly, green wasn’t his color. And maybe not red either. The costume was made of felt, a rather gaudy shade of green. Little red puff balls adorned his costume above his collarbones. Hijikata was wearing a long-sleeved red and white shirt underneath the felt that reached his elbows. His legs were a bright red from what looked like tights…or just some tight pants. Gintoki couldn’t tell. Clothing wasn't his forte. Hell, he couldn't even put on a yukata properly.

A black leather belt was secured tightly around Hijikata's waist, giving the man an illusion of a curvy figure, which Gintoki for a fact knew the other man did not have. He distinctly recalled the sharp edges of his hips and the toned muscles barely hidden by the towel when they went to the sauna together. Or rather, when they just both happened to be there. Trying to out-psych each other. Of course.

Lost in his thoughts he barely realized that Hijikata had left him and crossed over across the pile of decorative gifts to another elf who looked suspiciously like Jimmy. Jimmy...who again? Hijikata had jumped over a large decorative present, and Gintoki would have been lying if he said he wasn’t staring at the other’s ass just a little.

 “Mommy, why does Santa look like that?”

“Sweetie, don’t look at him.”

“Why is his nose bleeding?”

“Because he’s a good for nothing Santa.”

The girl was even more confused, but let herself be ushered away by her mother, who decided very quickly (and rightly so) to not get a picture with the perverted Santa.

Gintoki snapped back to reality. “Wait—”

But too late, they were already gone.

Shit, he really couldn’t afford to get written up as a pervert. Not again!

He glanced over at the person who would most definitely be the person to write him up.

And as if Hijikata could read minds he turned and caught his eye. Hijikata looked annoyed again. Is he never not annoyed? Maybe he's low on mayo. Nicotine?

Gintoki broke the eye contact, choosing to pretend like nothing happened. He glanced to the side to see if anyone still wanted pictures taken with him or if news spread that he was a perverted Santa. He sighed.

And suddenly Hijikata was all up in his face.

“Don’t get in my way. I’m warning you for the last time.”

“Who’s getting in who’s way now?” Gintoki rebutted.

They continued on like this for a minute and suddenly it happened.

An explosion rocked the shopping center. All around them was chaos. The decorations strung on from the domed ceiling rocked sharply back and forth. Hijikata acted before he could think. Before the ornaments fell onto them, and before the gigantic upside-down christmas tree fell onto them, he knocked Gintoki back onto his seat and shielded him with his body.

Luckily for him, a conveniently placed podium caught the tree before it could fall onto them, saving them from a rather painful squishing death. Very convenient.

Hijikata caught his breath, the split second of adrenaline racing through him.

A couple of ragged breaths later, Hijikata looked around could only see darkness. The mess of the building and the fallen tree had blocked off any light from reaching them.

He and Gintoki were trapped under the podium and the clutter of the tree.

Worried by Gintoki’s silence in the last few seconds, Hijikata wondered if he was injured. If he had gotten hit on the head and was bleeding out….

Hijikata reached up to feel for blood on the other’s face but before he could do so hands caught his own, and he let out a sigh of relief.

Before he could say anything, Gintoki leaned forwards and hugged him tightly.

Hijikata was shocked still. He didn’t move.

As his sight adjusted to the semi-darkness, Hijikata could see that Gintoki was smiling. Gintoki let him go after a brief moment.

About to ask what the hug was for, Gintoki answered before he could ask. “I’m happy that you don’t want me dead, I suppose.”

And Hijikata could read in between the lines. He remembered how Gintoki had always risked his life for others, recklessly throwing it away like dying meant nothing. He would run into danger with that look in his eyes like he didn’t deserve to be alive, that he wanted to die. A mixture of guilt and remorse… The guilt of living when someone else had died. The smile he had on was sad.

Hijikata didn’t hesitate. He roughly shoved their lips together, and their teeth collided. And this time it was Gintoki who froze.

Hijikata didn’t stop kissing him even when Gintoki failed to move.

If anything, Hijikata took that as a sign to kiss him harder.

Gintoki heard the other grumble something and he finally understood. And he suddenly felt his emotions all too strongly. The weight on his chest transformed into something else. Something lighter. He took a breath and it felt like he wasn’t drowning for once.  

Turns out someone needed him after all. Maybe it was okay to be alive. To live.

Gintoki smiled an actual smile and kissed him back. He could feel Hijikata smile too.

Gintoki felt alive in a way he hadn’t for years, and they kept kissing even when the radio attached to Hijikata’s hips buzzed to life. It was as if they were the only two in the world, and maybe that was alright.

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be for Christmas, but as you can see, I'm super late. It was also supposed to be PWP but turned out to not contain any porn. ...That's how it be sometimes.
> 
> Happy holidays!  
> NicotinicSugarHigh


End file.
